Boring businesses.
Consistent money.
Vending routes, car washes, storage lots, parking. Real-world businesses nobody thinks about that make money every month. Every $BORING trade on Pons pays a 1% fee, 70% comes back to the treasury as ETH, and it buys those businesses. Stake $BORING and the net revenue streams to you.
- Acquisition fund60%
- Stakers30%
- Operations10%
The first one.
A laundromat on 10th Ave in Hell's Kitchen. Under diligence now; it is what the acquisition reserve is filling up for.
Hell's Kitchen Laundromat
703 10th Ave (at 500 W 48th St), New York, NY 10036
A corner laundromat in a neighbourhood of pre-war walk-ups where almost nobody has a washer in the apartment. Demand does not move with the market: people wash clothes in a recession. Revenue is countable to the cent through the card reader, the machines are the asset, and no fund is bidding on a $60k storefront. The owner is retiring and his children do not want it, which is the only reason this is on offer at all.
No pre-sale, no allocation: the reserve fills from trading fees only.
- All-in target
- $75,000
- Projected net / mo
- $800
| Purchase price | Business, equipment and lease assignment | $60,000 |
| Closing + legal | SPV formation, attorney, landlord consent | $5,000 |
| Machine repairs | Two washers and a dryer out of service | $5,000 |
| Working capital | First two months of rent and utilities | $5,000 |
| Target | $75,000 |
- Format
- Drop-off, self-service, wash-dry-fold, same day
- Hours
- Attended daily, ~7am–9pm
- Revenue mix
- Coin + card self-service, plus per-pound drop-off
- Density
- Corner storefront, ~40k residents/sq mi, mostly walk-up buildings with no in-unit laundry
- Lease
- Assignable, term and rent under review
- Seller
- Owner-operator, retiring. Older; his children do not want to take over the business
- Contact
- We have spoken with the owner directly. Succession is the reason for the price, not the shop
Every number,
straight from chain.
The loop
Four steps, all of them on-chain except the part where someone fixes a dryer.
- 1Trade
Every buy or sell of $BORING on Pons pays 1%. 70% of that accrues to the creator in ETH.
- 2Harvest
Anyone calls harvest() on the Treasury. ETH leaves the Pons escrow and is split by the on-chain bps.
- 3Buy
Governance funds an SPV to close on a business nobody else is bidding on: a vending route, a car wash, a storage lot. Recorded in the AssetRegistry.
- 4Distribute
The operator reports net revenue on-chain. It streams to stakers over 7 days. Claim ETH or USDG.
Cheap because nobody wants them
No fund is bidding.
Vending and ATM routes, unattended car washes, coin laundries, small storage and parking lots. Thin management, predictable capex, sub-$500k tickets. They trade at 3–5x SDE because no private equity fund wants a $200k laundromat. That is a 20–30% cash-on-cash yield a token treasury can buy, hold in an LLC, and report on.
The on-chain half.
On-chain: the fee route, the split, every dollar released for an acquisition, every revenue report, the staking math. Off-chain: the LLCs that hold title, the bank accounts, the people who fix the dryers. Each asset links to its docs bundle (purchase agreement, P&L) on IPFS.